Smitten --> and now??

As on 23 Nov,

Well this post is all about emotions, no editing no cutting.. whatever flows in goes in… A true straight from the heart types :P ...

(for mozilla users turn on speakers related music onn...)

So here it goes:

It's just different … I am under some influence or is it just that i am feeling captivated...or have I been “smitten” , every other time i am just thinking about the same thought.. it has covered me up… it has just taken control of every sense of mine… but I have tried resisting it...I have not even surrendered myself to it, looks like am fighting a fight that I just don’t seem to win...for the first time in my life, i have undergone such a feeling...all my principles just seem to have had gone into a partial sleep... I don’t feel like running for it now… my pace has fallen, as if now I am sure I need it... Its amazing when you only see what takes you towards your wish for, and always skip those which will drive you away... isn't it ?
“The secret” is itself implemented.

The only visual coming to my mind is of the scenes of the movie “Definitely, Maybe” , where I can see visuals of Reynolds i.e “will” letting the girl “april” know why he did not return that much cherished book to her, an year ago. Which meant like everything to her cause it was a gift from her late dad.

Scene :
Will Hayes: I kept the book...
April: Yeah?
Will Hayes: Because it was the only thing that I had left of you.

A similar feeling is running all through me, for the first time in my life am feeling helpless. I just don’t want to loose the least I have , I certainly cannot afford to do that. The only saviour I see rite now is the almighty, just hoping he will see me through this as well just as he’s done it all my life and I hope he considers the purity in my heart to decide whether he’s gonna leave me on the shore or take me through…

All this while i've been asking him for signs, n ya he's not dissapointed me. I've got signs within hours only to ma discomfort, these have been signs too difficult to decode... My side is not a gud one to be at, presently...

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New addition: - listen to this man they've described what i wanted to...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJtcf4myGBU

Solace...

For the past few days, there was confusion about what I felt. Should i be 'sad' for what happened or 'happy' for what is happening???
(ahhh in short was back to “Dilemma Days”, I had been so used to them earlier but of lately there has been a change as for most of the things in my life.)

I had loads of questions in my mind but no answers to them. It really became difficult to understand what problems had I been facing was it about “people or places”, and I must tell you at times I am quite vulnerable at sorting out confusions in my mind as I’ve started putting in a lot of thought to whatever goes in my mind, so probably this was the time I needed help, help in venting out things going in my mind. Cause I thought it was getting all messy in there just like an overloaded “hard disk”, and this “hard disk” of my mind is too important, so had to be saved somehow from crashing…

A beautiful feeling runs through you when you are taken care of. It just strikes at the moment when you feel left out in the world. And when you get it at a time you most need it, it feels so good. It shows how important you are in someone's life. Today, I am truly cherishing the presence of a few very good people in my life (I don’t need to name them because they know themselves). They are friends who understand me completely. Well how do we define a friend ?? the only defination i carry for a friend: someone who understands you and is there for you in need, it doesnt matter how long we've been together it's just in there, in your heart or mine, thats it.

They may be distinctive in nature, thoughts and personality but they share a common thing, a place in my heart. The way they have channelised my life into a positive direction is remarkable. A very special thanks to them who lifted up my spirits just when i needed it the most. They are perfect examples of true friends...Standing up with me through thick and thin, even if i pulled their leg... ;)

I adore you to the core and just wanted to say that you are cherished...Always keep smiling and keep rising, n may the almighty bless you with everything and anything in life....

Thanks for being in my life..... :) :)

And thanks to 'thy almighty' for letting me have you in my life !!

For there has to be a "Reason".

It feels great to see things going out your way and having a positive influence by your side... But what if they are not ??

This post traces its roots from a conversation with a friend.

It’s something I‘ve thought about of lately, I dunno how much of it would I be able to express but still giving it a try, maybe if someone can find in a solution to there problem resulting from this post or even see a ray of hope, I would cherish that very moment and will surely make me feel a lot better.

Well judging people, who are two faceted and show you different colours once you are around or off, is very tough and painful. But there is actually nothing you can do about it. Just be nice to everyone because the right kind of people will never form an opinion about you in a hurry and for the rest of the world you need not CARE...!!! Care for only those who truly deserve it, in every sense...

There are certain things which you can’t reason out why they happen. Maybe they “are destined to” or “to teach you a lesson for the future”. But ultimately they happen for the good, even if you realize it in the long run. Even if you find people backbiting on you (with all those creepy mind generated stuff about you) that shows there is a force that is pushing them into it, for there has to be a reason for that to happen and if that reason is not because you did a similar deed to them, than I personally think it shouldn’t be a problem for you at all….

“That’s just the way the world works. Everyone who enters your life comes to you at precisely the time that you most need to learn the lesson they’ve come to teach.”
We human beings think that our lives are governed by random events and that the people who enter and exit do so purely by chance. Nothing could be further from the truth. There’s no chaos in our world, only order. There are no coincidences—ever. Our lives aren’t run by good or bad luck, but by an intelligent process designed to help us evolve into our best selves.”

Well I was never going to find a solution nor do i have the capabilities to direct someone, it's all yours to find out for yourself and thats where the "essence" lies...

Hope it will help you in some form or the other for "there has to be a reason for me putting this post here" ......

Sometimes I wish I could ...

"Sometimes I wish I could turn back time,Impossible as it may seem ,But I wish I could so bad baby..........."
This backstreet song has been ringing on my mind for sometime now, why ?, maybe this is what has been goin on in my mind oflately and this is what i could find:-

"I wish i could go back in time and be the person 'I' used to be an year ago: "a time when i was much more confident about what i was doing", "a time when i was much more positive towards life", "a time when i did not need to keep myself busy in stuff, just to take ma mind off certain things(***)", "a time when there was no fuss around and a time when i had full control over ma thoughts and ma mind"...

And there are various examples that i can site from life, where i've changed a lot: there was time wen i could virtually spend my whole day lazzily sittin back watchin TV all day (Discovery+NGC+Cricket), and then i could even watch movies that too even 3-4 a day and still when i would go to bed i would feel relaxed but it aint the same now, though i do watch cricket even now but the same passion aint dere nemore. Yes i know "Change is the only thing constant in this world" but sometimes in life you feel wish this would have had gone the other way... isn't it? . Haven't you had this feeling netime neday?(ask your heart)...But the point is why? its our life isn't it, we designed it our way;it was we who took the decisions that led us here, wouldn't it be bad on "thee's part" ???
Cause always remember it's he who's made us all n he makes no mistakes !!! .

And now am back to where i started from, still looking for an answer to my own question, guess this is what this blog is about.
Maybe destined for a little help from your side.